LeslieStar actually came up with the topic for this post. I posted the following as a comment to her original post, but I felt that it deserved it's own spotlight. Either that or I've copied it here because I want my blog to look bigger.
Alright… I’m going to give you the guy’s point of view on this one. Lets start with a fake but possible scenario… I started dating a woman and she was 130lbs and looked smokin’ hot in her black dress. A year down the road she starts on the new chips and chocolate bar diet and balloons to 180lbs. It’s now assumable that I still love this woman; I still want to be with her but that I find her terribly unattractive. Sure a lot of peoples priories and mindsets change as their loved ones get older and heavier but.. we’re talking 50lbs growth in only a year, not a lifetime. Not only is that unattractive but a serious long term health concern. A healthy guy like myself doesn’t want to be with an unhealthy person, or get sucked into her bad habits.
Back to the scenario, if she squeezes herself into that black dress and comes to me to ask “Do I look like a whale in this?” I’m going to give her the honest truth… “Not as good as you once did”. Sure it sounds cruel and like I’m an asshole but I have good reasons. I know she wanted me to say “Of course not, you look good in anything” or some bull shit. In my scenario, I want to be with her but I don’t want to have her continue down the road to blimpness, she needs to make a change.. right now. Trying to make subtle hints about her weight and getting her to come with me to the gym have failed in the past as she has become lazy, lost confidence and the motivation to make a change. She needs an intervention and it has to be her man, telling her how it is. It could be disastrous for the relationship… but in the long run it is better to correct the issue then to allow it to interfere with your happiness, as well as your sex life. Since my woman has gained a lot of weight I am not as attracted, and our sex life has dwindled to almost nothing. If this continues I will go resentful and likely be driven to breaking up with her, masturbating too often or be tempted by another woman. This is why, for both our sakes that she needs the cold hard slap in the face about her weight.
After the admission, if she decides that your a jerk and doesn’t want to be with you, so be it. Maybe 10 years from now she’ll call you in on to Maury to show you how thin she is, and then you can make your move to put her on tap again. The bottom line is that she needs to know, and if your hints arn’t getting through then it is time to be a man and tell her how it is. You know damn well if you put on an ugly clothing combination she will tell you. If she see’s a hot guy on TV she’s going to say, “Maybe you should get a 6-pack like that”. If she is going to speak up, it’s time that you told her to look in the mirror and get real.
“Do I look fat in this” = The perfect opportunity to fix the fatty growth that has plagued your relationship