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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

How Men Think #1

I decided to throw out some very random thoughts about how men think. Since I'm a man and have approximately 27 years experience, I feel that I'm qualified to give this information. I did not copy these out of some cheesy teen magazine, this is the real deal people!

The Situation: You spend a lot of time with your man (boyfriend, husband,lover etc.) and you've noticed a recent pattern of unresponsiveness. He does not seem to do much around the house, he watches TV downstairs when your headed upstairs to bed, you ask him to come over but he's always delayed or makes excuses. These are situations where you have asked or expected him to do something but he hasn't come through for you.

The Cause: Your man is like this for one of 3 reasons:

1. He feels that the relationship is not equal. This could be that he thinks you are not contributing to the same level that he is, whether it be through money, work volume, chores or a combination. If he thinks he's over contributing he is likely to shut down.
2. The bedroom activities have been cut. If the physical side of your relationship slips, it can directly affect your mans desire to satisfy you in non-physical ways.
3. He is no longer physically attracted to you. This is a very high possibility but only if your physical appearance has changed significantly since you met. If he has stayed the same or has been working out and you have been a couch potato and blimped up, you can expect him to resent you! Guys do not want someone that is lazy and lets themselves go physically.

The Questions: Ask yourself the following... What did I look like when I met him? Have I gained a lot of weight compared to him? Has our sex life diminished or dropped right off? Has he said he wanted to try something sexually that I denied without consideration? Does he contribute more to the relationship than me? Do I work less hours than him? Do I do less house chores than him? Do I have more free time than him? Is he always buying everything?

The Solution: If you are noticing a lot of "Yes" answers to those questions then it is likely that YOU are the cause to your relationship issue. First determine what the flaw is and fix it. Second make sure he notices that you are working to fix the issue. If you notice a lot of "No" answers to those questions then you will have to talk to your man. He won't want to tell you, because if he did he would have already. He will most likely say "nothing is wrong" or that he is just "tired". Tell him you need to fix it and be direct and to the point. "Do we need to have more sex!?" "Do you want to start coming to the gym with me!?". Make the questions powerful and positive. Everything will be fine!

IaN

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