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Thursday, March 25, 2010

How Men Think #2

It turns out that my first How Men Think article received a fairly high volume of views. Knowing that it was popular I've decided to create another. I would like to remind everyone that I did not copy these out of some cheesy teen magazine, this is real advice!

The Situation: You have been with your man for several months/years and feel that your relationship has been very strong. With all the time together and many fond memories you are wondering why he's taking so long to "put a ring on it".

The Cause: You're not engaged for one of 4 reasons:

1. He is waiting for things to be better. Everyone knows that when two people first meet and start dating that the chemistry is high and the love is fresh. He still loves you but has noticed that the spark has dwindled and is waiting for the "window of freshness" to open. Unfortunately this reason is vague and could include your lack of dating, physical interaction or communication.
2. He doesn't want to marry his best friend. When you started going out things were perfect but now he knows you back to front and the love has converted to more of a friendship. He knows you are a good companion but might not feel you are "the one" anymore. This is a nice way of saying that he's waiting for someone better.
3. Diamonds arn't free! Most men have a natural drive to provide for their women. It's a good possibility that he is secretly saving his pennies to buy you that ring he had you point out at the store 6 months ago. The bigger the ring, the longer you're going to wait.
4. He feels guilty about cheating on you. Maybe your relationship went in the crapper for a while so he decided to be a dirty bastard and cheat on you. Or perhaps he's still cheating on you and he feels guilty and knows that marrying you is the wrong thing to do because he has already broken his inevitable vows. Don't get all bent out of shape about this as it is the least likely reason. However speculation says that at least 20% of men will cheat on their partner at some point.

The Questions: Ask yourself the following... Do we still act as a couple? Do we still go out on dates? Do I still show my affection? Does he still show his affection? Do we still have physical chemistry? Am I the only woman he flirts with? Do I think he's being faithful to me? Has he ever asked me about what type of ring I like? Is he saving money on the side? Do I still love him?

The Solution: If you are noticing a lot of "Yes" answers to those questions then it is likely that you could be engaged very soon. However if you have answered "No" once or more then you need to figure out why and take charge. Most of these problems can be resolved by communicating with your man. Men don't talk about their feelings but if there is something really bothering him and you give him a good opportunity to spill it then he probably will. If you think he might be saving for a ring then just leave him alone. Don't go snooping for his hidden savings account as he will be mighty pissed if you uncover his master plan to seal the deal. As I said, talk to your man, do what your heart says and you won't regret it.

IaN

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